Trusted relationships

Today was a bad day. I wanted to call in sick today but felt guilty due to an important meeting that afternoon. Nothing went according to plan. Nothing worked. And everything just heaped on.

Luckily, I just kept plugging. Even more luckily, I had a trusted person help me out.

A while ago I was given some advice from a coach that I should find people whom I can give permission to give honest feedback and continue to foster that. Hearing things, even if I may not want to, can be invaluable.

That was exactly one of the golden moments today. In a meeting that was 100% virtual someone was really sharp with me. Knowing I was off, I sent a side message to another person in the meeting asking if it was me or them? I was very grateful that they said I was a bit sharp first. I thanked them for their honesty and made an effort to improve.

Afterwards I asked them if my efforts showed. Unfortunately I had to log off before they could respond, but the fact that there were no further moments I think shows that there was a positive shift.

I remember from my studies long ago about the (probably now antiquated) purple tail parable. It boiled down to someone had a purple tail and people kept telling them about it, but it didn’t sink in until they had been told seven times. Something psychological about that 7th time is when we finally hear what we are being told. I think paying attention to what we’ve been told – hopefully sooner than 7 times! – will help us in our relationships and career.

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